What if: You're stuck at a boring family function

• Ask out loud, "Why are we here again?"

• Point randomly and stare at nothing in particular - it'll make you look mature & thoughtful

• Repeatedly ask your relatives for their full names

• Bring Satyam shares as gifts

• Address everyone only by their full names, insist on being addressed similarly

• Constantly stare at the elder people and wait for them to look away

• Ask someone for the way to the bathroom, before he answers run away randomly

• Insist on singing the National Anthem before the function starts

• Play pakda-pakdi, but don't tell anyone :P

• Take a head count, update it every 5 minutes

• Set your Facebook status from your phone

• Fwd yourself a joke, from your phone, and laugh out loud

• If you're made to attend too many family functions? That's total Functional Attyachar